What Did He Have?
by binhereb4
Summary: post 'Beat the Devil' some talk, some fun and yes...some smut rated T but contains naughty words and behaviour...
1. Chapter 1

**Ok...A one off here ...maybe?...post "Beat the Devil"**

**_+++This is dedicated to one of my lttle foster kittens who sadly passed away a few hours ago..._**

**_I miss him greatly already+++_**

Disclaimer as Norm 

**WHAT DID HE HAVE?**

Part of her knew Helens remarks had probably been made out of spite, or jealously, maybe both.

However, it was obvious that as long ago as their relationship might had been, Helen was not over it….not over Cal. 

Did anyone ever 'get over'Cal Lightman?

Not Zoe, and certainly not Helen.

She knew (courtesy of Loker) that even Poppy had rung him a couple of times since they had returned from Vegas…Poppy!

If ever there was a hardened, relationship savvy woman, Poppy was it.

Love them, use them, drop them….that was Poppy's way, and yet even she had been trying get Cal back into her life…well her bed at least! 

God! What did this man have?

Certainly on a sexual level she knew he had to be good, well…probably better than good, anyone man that could keep the likes of Zoe, Helen and Poppy satisfied and coming back for more had to be better than average, but it was so much more than that.

This man got into your blood, your life, your heart and soul. 

Helen had been right about one thing, fall in love with Cal Lightman and you end up a lonely woman.

While he moved on..and on..and on – the woman he infected were left with the certain knowledge that no other man could match up, any one other than Cal would just be a second best. A poor substitute.

You never fell 'out' of love with Cal Lightman. 

**xXx**

It was late, and she was still in her office unable to face going home alone.

Why had she said no to his offer of dinner? Because Helen had jolted her into facing some hard truths that she had managed to keep buried up till now that's why. 

Laying down on her couch Gill felt her eyes begin to close… 

**xXx**

She opened her long coat and stood before him wearing the tiniest of black lace that was covering…well almost…her breasts and lower intimate area…Fishnets and 4 inch heels completed the outfit.

Cal just stood and slowly, almost leeringly took it all in.

"Is there a reason for this Foster?"

"I decided that if I am to be in the same boat as all the rest of your woman, loving you, knowing that I will never really have you but spending the rest of my life waiting...just in case….If that is how is going to be then I should at least receive the same ….'Benefits' as them"

"And wot would these 'benefits' be then?"

"Sex Cal. You already have my soul…you might as well have my body as well"

His mouth was on hers and she felt blazing heat rushing into her.

As her coat fell to the floor she couldn't control her hands ripping at his shirt.

Her bra went the same way as her coat and she gasped as she felt his teeth nipping at different spots on her breasts finally encompassing her nipples.

Her hands were now shaking as she fumbled with the stud button on his jeans – suddenly she was falling backwards onto his settee where he had pushed her. 

"Let me" he was looming above her and she saw the pure lust in his face.

As his jeans fell to the floor she let her eyes drift down, widening as she took in the briefs that were longer able to fully contain his engorged cock. 

Without even thinking she dragged down the now ineffective garment and took as much of him in her mouth as she could.

She felt wild and reckless, this was not her – she was not Dr. Gillian Foster the calm, controlled, considered psychologist – she was Poppy and Zoe and Helen – and she loved it! 

"Fuck Foster, if I'd known you could do that with your mouth before…"

Her tongue flicked and licked harder and faster at the sound of his words, her hands grabbed the cheeks of his arse, digging in with her fingernails and creating red weal's as she raked her fingers down.

"Enough! I'm gonna fuck you Foster- right now"

"Oh God Cal yes, yes I want you in me…."

**xXx**

"Foster…..FOSTER!" 

Her eyes shot open ….

She was still on a couch – but it was her couch.

Cal was still standing in front of her – but he was fully clothed and was staring at her with that wretched 'grin' on his face. 

"Well whatever it was you and I were up to in that dream, it sounded like fun…wanna tell me bout it luv?"

"What…whatever makes you think I was dreaming about you?" 

He did a bad mimic of her voice.

"_Oh God Cal yes, yes – I want you_…didn't quite catch the last bit, your voice was a bit…muffled. Do you want a drink? You look a bit hot and..Flustered"`

"I'm fine thank you Cal. What are doing back at the office anyway?" 

She was deflecting she knew, and if she knew it, Cal definatly would.

He held up a bag, "hated to thnk of you here, working away while I went off to eat. So I decided to bring a bite to you, as you wouldn't come to it"

He started pulling out boxes and bags.

Gillian left him to it, excusing herself so that she could go 'freshen up' before eating. 

Studying her face in the mirror she was disheartened to find that her hair was dishevelled and her face was flushed.

Did he know what her dream was about? He must do surely….well maybe not all of it, but certainly the 'gist' of it.

"Pull yourself together Foster – deny everything"

She heard her words and they sounded good, but this was Cal Lightman ….. 

"What have you brought me then?"

"Dinner – food…does it matter?"

She sat and started investigating the contents of the boxes. 

"Wot did she say to you?"

"Who?"

"Oh leave it out Gill, you know who, and don't bother trying any more deflection cos you're crap at it"

"She told me to keep my distance from you because you were never in it for the 'long haul'. She advised me that I could end up a lonely woman"

"Nice! And somewhat ironic seeing as she was the one that broke us up, walked away from me –just like Zoe really"

"I would never…"

"Never wot?, never walk away from me? How do you know that you wouldn't?"

"I haven't yet have I?"

"No…no you haven't luv…but we aren't in a relationship are we?"

"Aren't we? Don't you think that what we have is a relationship…of sorts?"

"S'pose" 

They ate in silence for a while, both wrapped in their own thoughts.

"Anyway…you still haven't told me about that dream of yours, I was obviously part of it so I fink I have a right to know"

"Have I ever been in your dreams?"

"Oh yeah Foster, many times" he smirked at her.

"Well you haven't told me about them, so why should I…."

"I can…I will if yer want? Let's see…Basics or graphic detail?"

"Neither thank you! Dreams are private, well at least mine are"

"You will tell me Foster…one way or another…"

_**A/N...So...think there should be more? don't think itwill become oneof my ..multi, multi chapter efforts...but maybe a couple more...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanx for the reveiws and alerts...heres a bit more for you all - enjoy**

Disclaimer as Norm

**THE BOOK DELIVERY**

It was late Saturday evening and Gill was just settling down after a hard days cleaning, shopping, cooking – anything really to try and take her mind off that evening in the office.

Cal hadn't pushed her any further since then, but she knew he would and waiting for it to happen was driving her crazy.

There was no ringing of the doorbell or frantic hammering on the window as normal, just…

"OI… Foster….open up" yelled through the letterbox.

"Oh God…this is it" she muttered to herself whilst heading towards the demanding voice.

Opening the door with her best 'calm and collected' smile she ushered him in.

"I do have neighbours you know Cal"

"Really Foster! Do you have kinky dreams about any of them as well?"

With a wicked grin he dropped into the settee and stared at her.

"None that I remember" she said as she went to get the bottle of red wine she had just opened.

Pouring them both generous glasses and placing them on the table she took the single chair opposite Cal.

"Ok…I'll play…What's in the bag Cal?"

He had brought a large carrier in with him that was now taking up the space by his side.

"Wot this…Just a few books I picked up for you in a second shop I frequent sometimes. Fort they might make a change from all that romantic crap you usually read"

Books she thought…judging by his expression this had to be a ploy, something that related to THAT evening.

"I don't just read romance novels Cal…So what have you got for me?"

"They're heavy so I'm not gonna throw them at yer…and I'm not getting up coz I've just got comfortable"

To make a point he leaned even further back into the cushions and closed his eyes.

Gill knew she should just sit there and pretend to be completely disinterested - but that would just postpone the inevitable, so she took her glass and crossed over to sit the other side of the bag.

Taking a large mouthful of her wine she pulled out the first book.

' _The True Meaning of Dreams'_

Flicking a quick glance at her tormenter – who was still cradling his glass and had his eyes closed – she removed the 2nd book.

'_Your Fantasies in Dreams'_

Picking them both up and almost dropping them on the coffee table, she sat back.

"Thank you Cal. I'm sure I will enjoy reading them when I get the time"

"Maybe you ought to make the time Foster…could be that you really need to start 'analysing' sum of those dreams of yours" He suddenly sat upright and captured her eyes.

"I fort maybe …if you tell me about sum of them, I – or we- could look through the books together and see wot we can cum up with"

"Nice try Cal, but I think I can manage the task myself – I did do quite a lot of that sort of thing in collage and uni you know"

"Wot – have erotic dreams about me and you together? Funny you should say that cos I…"

"I MEANT…studying books! And what makes you thinks any dreams I have had about you are 'erotic'?"

"Arhhh, speech content analyses…..you just said 'dreams' Foster, indicating that the one I interrupted the other evening was not the first"

"Oh shut up Cal"

Again his voice came out in a mimic of hers…

"_Oh God Cal yes, yes – I want you…"_

The two books landed heavily in his lap, knocking the grin right off his face which left a slight sense of satisfaction in Gills head.

"Wot the fuck…"

She stood in what she hoped was an authoritative way.

"Takes your books, and your attitude and go home Dr, Lightman – I have had a busy day and I am not in the mood for your mind games…I'm tired"

"Jesus Foster! I hope my tackle is all working good in your dreams cos I'm not sure if still gonna be in real life….fuck…"

Cal had pushed the books aside and had both hands cupped round his groin, his whole body leaning forward in the chair.

Gillian's hand flew to her mouth and she was just about to offer an apology but all that came out was a giggle.

The giggle turned into fits of laughter.

Her eyes started to water as she watched Cal's face spark with different emotions –

Pain…certainly, but there was righteous indignation, irritation and just a tad of embarrassment as well.

"It's not funny" he cursed under his breath.

"I…I…no. It's not funny. I am so sorry Cal."

Gill had managed to stop the laughter being audible, but it was still heavily in her speech and she knew he could hear it.

"Shall I..is there anything…..can I get you….some ice maybe?"

Cal was trying to ease his body back into a more straightened position.

"ICE! – you've crushed it now wanna bloody well freeze it?"

"Sorry..sorry…I ..wasn't thinking, err..asprin maybe?"

His face was now going red with apparent fury.

"You really wanna help Foster?"

"Well…of course Cal….What can I do?"

In the blink of an eye his face changed again into his trademark grin.

"Kiss it better"


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow...great reveiws fanficers thanx such a lot...you all seem to be enjoying this one quite a bit, so here is a mega fast update for you all - really -thank you thank you for all your words of encouragment - sending out the _'Waves of love' _vibes ...**

__

Disclaimer as norm…

**WET CLOTHES**

Cal waited for the red wine to stop dripping off his nose and chin before looking up onto a pair of steely blue eyes.

"I'll take that as a no shall I?"

"I believe you and your books were just leaving!"

"O cum on Gill – it was just a suggestion…and anyway, I need to …clean up before leaving"

He had switched into 'puppy dog' mode, Gill had seen it before but rarely.

It was a last ditch defence strategy when the teasing, shouting, logical argument, stoic silence, deflection, distraction and turning on the sex appeal approaches had all failed.

"Can I go use your bathroom to just clean up at bit first? Pleeez"

"You've ten minutes while I clean up down here"

Leaping over the back of the settee he made for the stairs….."Thanx Gilly"

"And don't call me Gil…." He was gone.

Heaving a huge sigh Gill started the mop up of the results of her flash of pure temper.

Still…even now…she just couldn't cross that final barrier into complete rejection of him.

What the hell was it?

He was maddening, pushy, intrusive, obsessive, conceited and just so damn sexy – WHAT!- did she really just think that!

Quickly returning to her cleaning she scrubbed the few spots of wine that had found there way to the carpet like she was trying to scrub her mind off thinking about what state of undress Cal might be in upstairs in the bathroom.

Her final act was to put the books back into the bag and place them by the door.

It had been far longer than ten minutes so she made her way to the bottom of the stairs.

"Cal Lightman, stop stalling, get down here now it's time to leave"

Silence

"CAL"

Silence

Gill nearly stomped up the stairs and down the hall to the main bathroom.

Her intention to hammer on the door until he came out was stopped short when she found the door open and the bathroom empty.

Where on earth?

"Cal – where are you?"

"In ere luv" The voice was coming from behind her bedroom door.

Throwing the door open somewhat dramatically she stood on the threshold with her arms crossed.

What she saw was Cal Lightman standing in the connection to her en suite scrubbing away at his wet hair with one towel whilst another was wrapped round his waist.

While her face was a picture of frustrated irritation, his was the perfect little boy innocent.

"That entrance was a bit…dramatic wasn't it darlin?"

"What are you doing in here?"

"You said I could use your bathroom" he looked behind him and motioned in the air with his hand, "This IS your bathroom isn't it?"

Wishing that:

1. She had something more substantial than a glass of wine to throw at him…and

2. That she could stop her body from starting to react to the sight of his body…. all she could do was to take a couple of small steps back out of her bedroom.

"Get dressed Cal. Get dressed and go"

"Whoa, wot was that?"

"What"

"That – those backward steps…that's fear that is …what are you scared of Gill?"

"You are being very irritating Cal"

"Yeah, very likely – it's a character trait a lot of people have commented on numerous times, including you, so stop evading, why are you scared?"

"I am not scared ok…it…it was shock not fear. I did not expect to find you in MY bedroom dressed in…well…not much really"

"Oh I saw the shock yeah, but then it changed – to – fear. Shock doesn't make you cross your arms and then take steps backward ay. ..No – feeling defensive and fear makes you do that"

Lifting her head and straightening her shoulders Gill took at least four good strides into the middle of her room.

"I want you to get dressed and go home Cal – Now!"

"Sorry luv, can't do that"

He dropped down onto the side of her bed and restarted rubbing the towel in his hair.

"What! Why not?"

"Well, red wine – can't leave it on clothes for long cos you'll never get the stain out. So I washed them in the shower with me, they're hanging up in the bathroom now and really still very, very damp – so unless you've got sumthing in your wardrobe that will fit me…."

"I'll get them and put them in the tumble dryer, it won't take long…"

"Err no, can't do that luv – wrong type of material - you'll wreck 'em if you do that…Why are you in SUCH a hurry to get rid of me anyway? You're not still mad bout that little joke are yer?"

Now he leaned back and swung his legs upon the bed.

With his arms up behind his head he stared at her and she just stared back.

"Yer know if this is really bothering you so much I s'pose I can put my wet clothes back on and go out into the cold night and…"

"Stop playing the victim Cal"

"Scuse me luv but I happen to think I am the victim here. I came over to see a friend – bearing gifts I might add – and wot happens? My 'friend' trys to castrate me with the gift I brought her…then I get a glass of wine thrown in my face…and now I am to be thrown out into the cold in wet clothes"

"CAL"

"Well am I wrong? I mean wot did I do exactly? Crack a little joke – which I have apologised for- and…"

"ALRIGHT….alright – you win…You can stay, and seeing as you appear to have made yourself comfortable - I will sleep in the spare room. Goodnight Cal"

How he managed to get off the bed and across the room in the time it took her to turn and walk the four paces to the door she would never know, but his arm reached the wooden barrier before she did and slammed it shut.

As she spun round to yell at him she found herself literally face to face and chest to chest with the semi naked man of her fantasy dreams.

"Wouldn't dream of it luv – kickin you out of your own bed – that just isn't right"

His lips were so close to hers that she could taste the toothpaste on his breath, his body heat radiating against her.

His eyes seemed to be raping her mind as he held her in a spell for countless heartbeats.

With another quick switch he was back to playful again as he grabbed her arm and dragged her back over to the bed.

"We can share can't we – I mean we've fallen asleep together on various couches over the years…a bed will just give us …some more room really"

"No, Cal- I really don't think that's such a good idea…"

Jumping onto the bed he dragged her with him.

"Why?"

As hard as she tried…at that moment in time she could not come up with one valid reason to challenge him with.

"Good! Well that's settled then. Everything turned off down stairs is it?" He didn't wait for her answer…"Fantastic"

He scrambled under the covers flipping the layers down on her side

"Well…wot yer waiting for? fort you were really tired"

"Look, I can't just drop in beside you…I need to get changed"

"Rubbish woman! Just…" he grabbed her arm again and pulled her down. Flipping the covers again so that now lay across her completely.

"Just…wriggle out of them – it's easy look"

With a grandiose gesture his hand went under the sheet and returned swinging the towel in the air.

"Wot yer waiting for now? Get on with it…or do you need some help…

_****_

A/N...Well..do you think she might need and accept the proffered help?


	4. Chapter 4

**I AM JUST SO ENJOYING WRITING THIS STORY...You guys and gals are really being amazing with your reveiws and comments thanx...so...a lot more banter and carry ons...hope you enjoy...**

_Disclaimer as norm._

**HOW HAD HE TALKED HER INTO THIS?**

How had he talked her into this?

Gill couldn't actually remember the point where she had given in to him and discarded her clothes, all she knew was that – here she was…laying in her bed – naked! - with an equally naked Cal lightman beside her. 

She had the covers tucked round her so tightly that she felt almost 'mummified' but still she felt insecure.

Cal was laying on his side facing her, one arm draped over his body, the other propping up his head and shoulders – and he was just looking at her.

Gill refused to turn her head and meet his eyes, but she could feel him just…..looking. 

"Cal, stop that now please"

"Stop wot?"

"You know very well what! …You're staring"

"Well I'm just tryin to work it out that's all"

"Work what out?"

"How the bloody hell you are managing to breath tucked up so tight like that"

"I feel comfortable like this"

"Really! You don't look comfortable, in fact, you look as about as uncomfortable as I've ever seen you look"

"Well of COURSE I'm uncomfortable you ass! I am laying here…in my bed…NAKED with you…also naked…and…and I can't even begin to work out how you talked me into this"

"Oh that's an easy one luv – it's cos I'm irresistible – and charmin and sexy…" 

With each word he was shuffling a little closer towards her…

"The line Cal – the centre line…You promised not to cross it, and you're right on the border now…"

"Wot is it with you and lines Foster?"

"It's just a word Cal. The words borders or boundaries just never seemed to register in your head – 'the line' seems to be the only thing you have ever adhered to"

"Right…I see…" but even as he said it his free hand had made it's way across the 'line' and was now gently twirling a section of her hair. 

He made it appear like it was almost an absentminded move, one that he was not aware of making – but Gill knew that Cal was completely aware of every breath his body took.

She was about to admonish him but suddenly realised that she found it incredibly relaxing and soothing. 

"Wot was that?"

"Pardon?"

"You were going to say sumfing and then stopped yourself. What was it?"

"Nothing…it was ..nothing"

"Ok – we'll let that one slide – for now. Tell me, in our…'dreams'…when we were in bed together, naked, like now….was there a 'centre line' then? Did you cocoon yourself like you are now? Or were we wrapping ourselves in others bodies instead of the sheets and blankets – all arms and legs knotted up around each over with just a thin film of sweat being the only thing between us as you beg me be inside you…." 

His voice was low and husky, it seemed to be in her head rather than a foot away, it was hypnotising, and pushing her towards losing the last vestiges of self control that she had…just like in her dreams….

"Cal stop that! Please stop talking like that, and…take your hand out of my hair" 

It came out sounding like a plea rather than an order

He grinned. "Oops – sorry luv – didn't realise that my hand had strayed"

He chuckled a little before pulling his arm back and then turning so that he was also now on his back, staring at the ceiling like her. 

After a few moments silence Gill heard him mutter "Well…this is …fun"

"Well it was your idea, it's what you wanted…"

"Oh no Foster, this isn't wot I wanted at all…"

"You were the one that suggested…"

"Yeah! Exactly right – 'suggested' I didn't exactly force you…"

"You manipulated the situation…"

"I was acting purely on cues I was getting from you!"

"Oh – so now this is all my fault…"

"Who's talking about fault! Where did that cum from? There's no 'fault' involved here – wot 'fault'?"

"Oh you are just IMPOSSIBLE" 

Caught up in the frustration of the argument she just hadn't realised that she had sat up and was now facing him, the movement of her hands and arms as she had used them to enforce her words had caused all the covers to fall away…..she just hadn't realised, until she saw the smug smile spreading across Cal's face and it dawned on her that he was laying there – looking at her body that was now fully exposed to him from the waist up! 

Gill opened her mouth but nothing came out. 

"Nice! Very nice in fact"

"You…you did that deliberately didn't you? You started that argument knowing that I would…."

"And you did…"

"You…You…Bastard" as he started to laugh so did she, collapsing into his waiting arms they both continued laughing until they became out of breath. 

Gill finally relaxed and lay her head on his chest feeling totally at ease with his arms round her, is fingers softly running up and down her arms.

Feeling a little light headed and adventurous she whispered against his skin, "Do you really think my breasts are nice?"

"Probably the best I've come across luv" 

Raising her head and throwing him a mock insulted look "Probably?"

"Arhh well you see I can't say for sure just yet….I need to do the touch and taste test first"

"Well if it's the only way I am going to get an honest answer out of you…."


	5. Chapter 5

**Well here is the next bit...a tadshort but I hope the content makes up for the brevity...**

_THIS ILL BE AN ..M.. CHAPTER FOR SAFTY AND IS FOR ALL MY READERS THAT REQUESTED I PUSH IT UP TO AN M_

_You smut lovers ...ENJOY_

_Disclaimer as Norm…._

**CAN MEN MULTITASK?**

He was kissing her – all over – his lips were hot against her skin and she gasped as she felt the wetness of his tongue on her hardened nipples.

His fingers replaced his mouth and continued to stimulate her as his head moved up and across her collarbone then on to her neck. 

"Gill" his voice was barely registering above the sensations raging through her body.

"Gillian – Open your eyes and look at me. This is not one of your dreams luv and I need you to know that, so open your eyes and look at me"

She felt frightened.

What if this was another of her dreams?

What if she opened her eyes and this all ended – once more she would be alone in her bed with just the fading memories of the heaven she was currently in.

Could she risk it? Could she face losing him to reality again? 

"Gill luv – I'm here, and I'm not goin anywhere so open your eyes sweetheart"

Slowly she let her lids lift upward.

As she focused she saw his face, a big cheesy grin and hazel eyes dancing with humour.

"See…still here"

"And are you going to stay?"

"Why would I go? I am in bed with the most beautiful woman I have ever known – one I have had some…pretty damn erotic dreams about for years – I would have to be crazy to go"

"Tell me Cal…about your dreams"

"I rather show you luv"

"Prove to me that men can actually multitask – do both" 

"Well…there is this kinda weird one…I had fallen asleep on your settee during one of our more ..drunken evenings…when I woke up you had gone to bed, so I decided to leave a note for you. I came up here, to your bedroom to put the note on the door. I was gonna lave when I hear you cry out, thinking you might be having a nightmare I pushed the door open and stepped inside – it wasn't long before I realised that you weren't crying out in fear or pain – it was pleasure. You were kind of thrashing about and the sheets were all pushed aside. You were naked and you kept moaning. I couldn't resist, so I sat down on the side of the bed and starting watching you. You started running your hands over your breasts, and then…you started moaning my name and asking..no, begging me to touch you I reached out and ran my fingers over your nipples, it made you moan all the more – '_Yes_, _oh God yes' _you were saying, so then I lean down to you and take one of your hard nipples in my mouth"

Cal could see the heat of passion building up in Gills eyes, as he was talking.

He had moved closer to her and dropped his voice to a soft husky timbre.

He allowed his hand to skip over her nipples and trail lightly down her stomach coming to rest just above the soft mound of silky blonde hair.

Her breathing was becoming faster as he felt her muscles fluttering under his touch. 

"Don't stop Cal- I want to hear ALL of your dream"

"You hadn't woken so I started running my tongue over you stopping every now and again to suck lightly. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I had to keep going, I was so hard by then Gill, So turned on by the fact that I was actually doing to you what you were dreamin about me doing. I was so busy with your tits that I nearly missed you startin to talk again"

"Wha…what did I say next?"

"You were pleadin with me to move my hand down, _'Touch my clit Cal, please'_ your voice was so raw, so full of need …"

"So..what did you do?" 

Cal slowly moved his hand from where it had been resting.

His fingers slid through the silky hair and instinctively found it's target.

He started with a slow light circular motion but at Gillian's moaned insistence he increased the speed and pressure of his movements. 

"This is what I did luv, and you moaned so loudly in your sleep, you kept sayin my name over and over, you wanted more, much more. It was such a turn on, knowing you were still asleep and dreamin about me touching you while I was awake and actually doing it" 

Gillian knew she was close- Cal was equally aware and as hard as it was to do it he suddenly withdrew his hand and giving her a quick peck on the cheek rolled onto his back with a sigh.

"Cal?"

"Wot luv""

"I…what?...Cal for Gods sake why did you just stop?"

"Well I woke up didn't I. It was bloody frustrating let me tell you, but you can't control yer dreams can you?" 

Gill tried snuggling up to him and running her fingers up and down his thigh. Whispering softly in his ear- "Can't you just pretend you didn't wake up just then and….make the rest up"

Resisting the urge to laugh out loud, he turned his head and looked her in the eyes with mock horror.

"Nah…can't do that luv I mean that would be like…well…lying wouldn't it"

"OH YOU…." 

Throwing the coverings off her gill stormed into the en suite slamming the door. 

Cal heard the shower start up.

Raising his voice just enough to be heard above the sound of the water he yelled-

"Anything I can help you with darlin?"


	6. Chapter 6

**OK...I KNOW a lot of you were calling Cal all sorts of things at the end of the last chapter...but he always has his reasons...DEFINATE M - fun and smut...**

_Disclaimer as Norm_

**LATE NIGHT SNACKS**

As soon as she came out from the en suite she started opening wardrobes and drawers, slamming them shut.

When she had found the clothes she required she dressed quickly and methodically. 

"Errr, wot yer doing sweetheart?"

"What does it look like Cal? I'm getting dressed – I am leaving"

"Gill luv…we are in your bedroom…shouldn't it be me that leaves?"

"Yes! – and you will be. I am going out to clear my head. I expect you to be gone by the time I get back" 

Just as she reached the door she heard him start to laugh…really laugh. 

"How DARE you. You think this is funny?"

"Yeah" he managed to squeeze out between the laughs.

"YOU…"

"Wot? Wot you gonna go for this time Foster? Bastard, English prick, miserable scum, egotistical lunatic? Cum on Foster…think about this….It IS funny in a …melodramatic sort of way"

"Really! Well I'm sorry but I fail to see the humour…"

"That – my luv is cos you are being far too serious. You are taking everything like it is intended purely as a personal slight to you somehow"

"Well how, exactly am I supposed to take it?" 

He got up from the bed and walked – naked- over to her.

"As a laugh. Fun Gill, remember that?…" 

He gently took her hand and pulled her back to the bed with him.

Taking her head in his hands he forced her to look at him which till now she had been avoiding. 

"Foster – we are at the start – the very start of wot I hope will become a serious, long standing relationship. There will be times, lots of them, when we will have to behave like serious adults, but for right now, this should be fun yer know, laughing, joking, teasing each other…"

"Cal – we're not teenagers…"

"No, we're not, but is there any reason why we can't…in private at least, just pretend we are….sometimes?"

"I..I don't think I know how…."

"And there in lies the problem. I bet…as a teenager, when you first started dating…..did you ever sneak out of the house on a summers night and go skinny dipping, or share a huge ice cream Sunday with yer fella and at the end…just boot it outta the shop without payin – even if you had the money – just to….have the fun of running away, hand in hand, finding somewhere to hide and then spend the next hour talking bout wot yer parents would do if they found out…"

"No, I can't say that I did but…."

"Well don't you want to try some of that now, just a little tiny bit of you inside" he held his forefinger and thumb together with just millimetres between them. His hazel eyes were sparkling in a way she didn't think she had ever seen them before.

Gill felt her body start to relax and a smile started just at the corners of her mouth as a quick image of them running along a busy DC main street while a fat bald man with an ice cream scoop in his hand is screaming at them from his shop doorway.

"Now yer getting the idea aren't yer"

"So…apart from - stopping me just short of an orgasm – do you have any plans?"

**xXx**

He had made her change into a t shirt and joggers. He had donned a vest and his boxer shorts.

In these outfits they were now sitting in her kitchen drinking a coffee. 

Cal was just grinning at her over the rim of his coffee mug – just grinning.

"Cal, stop that. I know that grin and it always means trouble so just…just stop ok"

"No problem luv"

He jumped of the stool and went to her fridge.

Watching him she couldn't help her, 'smothering' side rearing up.

"Are you hungry? I can make something – soup or.."

"Nah – just lookin luv" 

She heard him grabbing a few things and walk back to the breakfast bar they were sitting at.

Dumping two bowls down he then deposited a tub of soft scoop ice cream and a squeezy bottle of chocolate sauce. 

"Know how your sweet tooth kicks in if you are up in the early hours"

He placed 2 large spoonfuls in her bowl and one in his.

Then, upturning the sauce bottom he proceeded to cover her ice cream in chocolate goo. 

He squeezed and swirled and squeezed until the ice cream could no longer be seen – and still he carried on. 

"Cal…CAL..that's enough now ….cal!"

"Wot! I fort you loved this stuff"

"I do but…"

"Well you can never have enuf of sumfing you love right?" 

The dark sticky substance was now trickling down the outside of the bowl.

Gill tried to grab it out of his hands but only succeeded in moving the direction of the opening so that it was now squirting down the front of her t shirt.

"CAL!"

She desperately continued to grapple with him for ownership of the bottle. 

All of a sudden he just let go causing her to fall backwards but before she could hit the hard floor he was there, cushioning the fall so that she landed on top of him. 

Cal immediately switched them round so that he then was astride her, pinning her to the tiles.

"Oops…sorry – made a bit of mess didn't I….Here let me help clean it up"

His tongue started tracing the lines of chocolate that had dribbled across her clavicle and down into the valley of her breasts. 

For a while Gill just lay her head back on the cool tiles as his 'clean up' continued over her skin.

Cal could feel her pulse getting faster, her skin flushing red.

Although he was holding the weight of his body off her, he allowed his hips to drop down and start to push against her. 

"Oh God…Cal…I ..I think you have got all of the sauce of me now"

"Really…I hadn't noticed but, it appears you are right" 

Moving lithely he got up off the floor lifting her with him.

He then placed her so that she was sitting on one end of the table.

As his hands ran down her sides and over her hips he lifted her legs and wrapped them round his waist.

"Now for that …snack" 

He reached for her bowl and scooping out a largish amount of the mixed ice cream and chocolate, smeared it down her neck and cleavage.

"Oops…there's that mess again"

He grinned.

"Well..I suppose you'd better …clean that up as well Dr. Lightman"

His tongue went to work. 

His hands started to pull at her t shirt and she happily raised her arms to aid him.

The heat of her body was causing the ice cream to melt quickly and it was now sliding down over her breasts.

Cal's tongue chased it. 

Gillian just groaned as he reached her hardened nipples and sucked at them.

Supporting herself with her arms, Gill leaned back, arching her back and pushing her breasts upwards, this move also had the added effect of pushing harder against his groin. 

Cals mouth continued downward his tongue blazing along the centre of her stomach…her lower abdomen until it reached the barrier of the top of her joggers. 

Lifting his head he moved back up to let her taste the sweet mixture he had been collecting as he snaked his tongue inside her mouth.

The kiss was passionate and needy, both of them giving and taking all that they could from each other. 

It was Gill that eventually pulled away.

Dipping her fingers into his bowl she brought them up to his heated lips which parted on contact and sucked them fully inside his mouth, his tongue lapping round them.

"Do…do you want some more?"

It was definatly a question that held the possibility of more than one answer. 

"Oh yeah luv…much, much more"

"Are we going to go back….."

"Oh no Gill. Didn't you know….Teenagers NEVER have their first shag in a bed"


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG...Just seen the latest episode...I LOVED IT - NOW MY MOST FAVOURITE...I KNOW there are callians out there that arn't so keen, specially with the ending, but FUN...the sarcastic back biting with zo, That dig at Torres, havin a go at the judge and getting dragged out, tricking that bloke to cause a fight so he could get in to the room, so so much more if anyone out there wnats to chat with me about it...Oh - right the chapter...ok...a bit shortish, but - I hope...fun**

_Disclaimer as norm_

'**MOMS' HOME!**

Their bodies became more and more entwined as Gill writhed on the table under the increasing sensations Cal's hands and mouth…and…oh god his teeth, the things he could do with his teeth were both shocking and pleasuring the hell out of her.

As he slid across her she could feel his hardness and with it the realisation of just how badly she wanted it inside her.

"Cal please, ..I want…I need…."

"Oh I know exactly wot you want and need sweetheart, and I promise you ….soon…very soon…" 

He slid his hand under the elastic of the joggers and moved in for the kill.

Ignoring the obvious he moved straight to pushing two fingers inside her immediately setting up a steady but fast rhythm.

Hearing her gasp of surprise he grinned. 

His other hand snaked out and hooked behind her neck so that he could pull her body partially up from the table.

His action had a double effect of one: allowing his mouth access to her breasts and then mouth again – and two: increasing the pressure of his fingers inside her.

Gills arms were over his shoulders and round his neck. She clung to him fearing she would just collapse if she let go.

"I want you – hell I want you so much Cal"

"You sure" he growled into her ear "You don't wanna stop for …some more ice cream maybe?"

"Don't you dare – don't you dare think about stopping again Cal because I swear I will….." 

"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS MESS!

Cal and Gill froze and they both felt his previous hardness start to soften. 

"Fuck!" He whispered…"Did I ever tell you about the bit where the teenagers get caught ….I fink 'mum' has just come home"

"OH MY GOD! What are you two…Oh…oh this is sooooo gross. I cannot believe what you two…Jeez dad people are supposed to eat their breakfast on that table"

Cal continued to lie across Gillian to keep her as hidden as he could. 

"Errr..Em, luv – What are doing just walking into Gillian's apartment at this time?"

"Well Gilly always said I could come here any time if I needed to, and she gave me a key – and I just had this really, really bad argument with mom, so I got a cab and…."

Gill was cringing.

This was surreal!

She was laying on her breakfast bar, half naked with Cal's fingers still inside her – the whole room covered in melted ice cream and chocolate sauce…..and HE was having a seemingly casual conversation with his sixteen year old daughter who had just walked in on their 'teenage' sex romp, about how an why she was here! 

"Cal" she hissed through her teeth "DO something – get her out of here"

He grinned down at her,

"Well it was you that issued the invitation, AND gave her a key luv"

"CAL!" 

"Errr – yeah, Em luv, do you think you could just give Gill and me a little bit of errrr, privacy here for a few moments please"

"Oh please- I do not need asking twice, I am soooo outta here - oooooo" 

"What do we do?" Gill was frantically pulling her t shirt back on albeit covered with ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Looking her over and then studying himself, Cal reached over and pulled some 'gunk' from her hair. 

"Quick shower and a changes of clothes seems like the way to go at the moment luv"

"EMILY Cal! I am talking about your daughter who is sitting just out there having just seen us…."

"Seen us wot – behaving like a pair of hormonal teenagers? Well if anyone should understand she should"

"I think it is one of those times when we – you, need to switch back to serious adult mode Cal, do you think you can manage that?"

"Oi, steady on Gill. Look, I will go out and move Em out the way leaving the decks clear for you to scoot on through. Have a shower, clean up, calm down and leave me to deal with my daughter"

Gill took a deep breath. 

"Ok. Alright. That sounds….like a plan. Right…well…off you go then"

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared through the door.

"EM! Come out to the garden with me luv – we need to talk" 

Gill just caught the reply " Arh cum ON dad, am I gonna get a blow by blow account now?"

She waited a few more moments then made a dash for the bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer as Norm…_

**WHITE SHEETS AND ROSE PETALS**

"Em"

She continued to stare ahead of her – deliberate deafness.

He grabbed another chair and banged it down in front of her, sitting so that his knees were virtually touching hers. 

"Oi, Em"

Shifting slightly but still not meeting his eyes she shifted her chair back a few inches. 

"I hope you were using some kinda protection"

"Yeah, nice one, but I fink you and I both know there is no chance of an unwanted pregnancy"

Now she looked at him, she sort out his eyes and she held them.

Deliberately using some of the words and phrases that he so often used with her when he went into one of his 'safe sex' sermons, she raised a cynical eyebrow. 

"You know condoms aren't just there to stop babies being made, they are the best way, with the exception of celibacy, to prevent sexual diseases being passed around"

"Oh very funny! Should I call Foster out here so you can ask her if she has any rashes or spots you should know about? I mean, you would need to do the interrogation Em, cos me…..I really don't think I need to ask her"

"I wasn't thinking about HER sexual health status"

"Thank you…Look, Em, can we just drop the caustic comments and sarcasm now please – you and I both know it's just a cover for …well for wot?...Wot are you feeling right now luv?...Confusion, embarrassment, anger…wot?" 

Emily kicked at the concrete with her feet for several moments.

"Over a kitchen table! ….I mean…Cum on dad…that's….well it's…"

"Look, Em – I know that being suddenly faced with the actuality that yer parents do…still have …sex, is…well it's probably a bit of a shocker, and one that….well in all honesty luv, it's one that you shouldn't have to deal with. Fact is tho Em – it's happened – and I can't change that, but I can help you to deal with it"

Emily continued to kick at the floor and now she allowed her hair to fall and cover her face. 

"Wot bothers you the most? Seeing Foster and I doing it…well actually we weren't as it 'appens…well..not fully…Anyway – was it that? Or is it just the location that you object to?"

He sat back in his chair and waited.

"Gilly deserves more than a kitchen table dad. Gill's a …soft white sheets and..rose petals on the pillows and candles and….she deserves someone who doesn't keep going back and getting it on with his ex wife every time she so much as flutters an eyelash at him"

Now she had taken up his eyes again, they pierced into his full of accusation and pain. 

Cal felt the weight that his daughter carried with her.

Her fear, her distress…her love.

Reaching out her tucked her hair behind her ears and ran his fingers down her cheek. 

"You know too much don't you Em? Seen, heard, been dragged into way too much of the lives of the adults around you. I'm sorry luv – Shit! I really can be a crap dad at times can't I?"

"Yeah, yeah you can…but…I guess the times that you are simply the best dad ever makes up for it. I'm sorry too dad, I want you and Gilly to be together so I don't know why I am being so crappy about it now it's actually happening"

"It's Cos you care so much luv, too much sumtimes. You love Gill and you don't want to see her get hurt, you also know that sumtimes….sum of the things I do …well I can be a right shit and we both know it, but luv – I am gonna try really hard not to mess this up, not to hurt Gill or you. If me and Gillian get together..I mean properly…I promise you that I will never…well, get with yer mum again….even if I have to cut her eyelashes off"

Emily leapt of the chair and threw her arms round him…threw her whole body into him.

He caught her and accepted her abundant kisses happily.

"Make it work dad. Make it" 

**xXx**

Gillian's tears were freely running down her face as she moved away from her hidden position that had allowed to see, and hear the father and daughter scene.

She knew how fond Emily was of her but had not realised that it had grown into the deep love that she had discovered.

As she moved into the kitchen to start the clean up she allowed a little grin at Emily's insistence that she was a 'white sheets and rose petals on the pillows' woman.

Whilst that scenario was one she did indeed like, looking around at the mess and remembering the reason it was there, she knew that Cal had made her realise that she was also a 'lets make out on the kitchen table' teenage role playing type as well.

Biting her lip to stop herself from laughing she began to run the hot water.

Maybe it was time to start coming up with a few 'role playing' games of her own, she had imagination didn't she? Ok, Cal probably – well almost certainly had the edge on her when it came to experience…..but she DID have a good imagination. 

"Want any help with that luv?"

Turning she saw Cal leaning against the door frame, his arm round his daughter and a huge grin on his face. 

She threw the wet wash cloth at him.

"I think…seeing as you were responsible for making the mess in the first place, that you should clean ALL of it up Lightman! I am going to make a hot drink for Emily and myself so that we can go and sit down and talk about her argument with her mother.

"Great call Gilly" Emily grinned and wriggled away from her fathers arm to get some cups out. 

"Fink I'm being ganged up on here" Cal moaned as he picked up the cloth and started to wipe down the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

**So...Again MUCHO apologies for the delay in updating..The hand rear kits have got me TOTALLY stuffed when it comes to any spare time!**

**For once, they are all fed and asleep at the same time, so I have taken to opportunity to write. Probably should be doing something else..eating..sleeping..housework...BUT NO! I just couldn't keep you waiting any longer..**

**This chapter is slightly longer than normal, (trying to placate you all) and...DEF. M SMUT here...**

**Okay, so ...let me know... and thank for all your reveiws and messages so far- and for waiting...Bless you fanficers one and all...**

Disclaimer as Norm...

**SWITCH!**

Cal had gone back to his cat and mouse game.

At work he treated Gillian much the same as he always had with just touches here and there of the newer intimacy they had shared.

Gillian knew that the 'chat' with Emily had gone well, so that wasn't a contributing factor to his 'back off'.

She herself had been more than co-operative hadn't she?

She was making special efforts at work – wearing the kind of clothes she knew he liked.

Letting her hands linger longer on him when they touched, flirtatious smiles when she was sure the staff weren't in witness able vicinity.

Oh yes – he returned the looks, let her hands linger, even caught her in a few sneaky kisses in abandoned corners – but overall he appeared to show no sign of getting back to what she had thought was the start of a flourishing relationship.

Leaving his office Gill felt the rising frustration and anger as yet again she had tried to steer their conversation towards – well – them, and once again Cal had obtusely chosen to ignore all her verbal and facial hints.

As much as it was possible for her to do it, Gillian Foster damn near stomped down the corridor to her office drawing more than a few curious stares.

**xXx**

It was killing Cal to hold back, feign indifference – not to grab her when the particular 'Foster' Figure hugging dresses started to become almost second skins.

He was however, dedicated to his plan!

A lot of Fosters 'hang ups' seemed to grow directly from her somewhat limited sexual experience, - well, limited in comparison to his.

This, he had decided, had led to her to a lack of confidence around him at times of intimacy – her continued second guessing as to whether or not she was 'enough' for him.

_Crazy!_

Sure, Zoe and Poppy and the like were always – interesting, imaginative – happy to play any of his games but just as likely to insist on a few of their own making.

However if it had to be, he was happy if he and Gill played 'missionaries' for the rest of their lives as long as she was with him.

But the last few small 'scenarios he had guided her towards she had, after a little hesitance, jumped in and appeared to enjoy.

That spark of a little 'role play' was in her – he had seen it, now he just needed her to – see it, accept it, and act on it.

His apparent loss of interest – he hoped- would spark that.

But it WAS killing him!

**xXx**

It was late – very late at the Lightman offices.

The only reason Cal was still hanging around was because Gill was.

They were both in their respective offices, him, pretending to be engrossed in files, wondering what on earth she could be doing that involved her staying so late – surely she couldn't be THAT behind in her work?

They hadn't been exactly inundated lately – nicely ticking over yes, but not swamped.

Maybe he ought to have words with Loker….If Gill were that busy then Eli needed to start taking up some slack instead of mooching trying to glean more facts on Torre's sexual history – Yep – he would defiantly have to have a few words with…..

"You're here late Cal. Is there a particular problem I can help you with?"

The sentence was loaded with meanings all of which he briefly saw play out across her face, but the main, and lingering one was….Intent? – Confidence mingled with a touch of wariness – What was she up to?

"I could very well ask the same of you Foster"

Gill undulated across the floor of his office ending up behind him as he sat his desk.

The temptation to swing round and look at her was nearly overwhelming but he managed by focusing intently on his monitor.

"Oh, I have things to do….plans you know…."

"Really! Plans – at nearly midnight on a Friday evening?"

She was suddenly up close behind him, leaning over him her mouth close to his ear.

"Come now Cal, the likes of you and I…we always have 'plans' floating around in our heads don't we?"

"Yer right of course luv…anything I need to be aware of in yours?"

Still he kept his attention, visually at least, on his monitor.

"Possibly" she almost purred

"_Possibly _Foster?"

"Maybe….defiantly"

"_Maybe_?"

He felt his first arm being moved and the coldness of the metal on his wrist only fractionally before the second was likewise captured.

Christ! Where the hell did she learn how to slap on a pair of bracelets so quickly and efficiently? Had she been taking lessons from Reynolds?...

Controlling his breathing as best he could, his voice reflected none of the shock…and growing arousal.

It was his best …'slightly bored' affect.

"Defiantly not a '_maybe'_ than – Perhaps you'd like to enlighten as to….."

"Can't you guess?"

"Reasoned, scientifically backed statements is my game luv…Not much into 'guessing'"

"I'm making a citizens arrest"

"And the crime…my crime would be?"

"Criminal indifference equating to abuse of women"

"Not familiar with the legislation on that one – maybe I should call a brief"

Her hands started undoing the buttons on his shirt, her breath was still hot and sweet in his ear.

"You do not have the right to remain silent – You do not have to right to have an attorney present…"

"Guess calling Zo's out the question then?"

"You do not have the right to….Well…lets face it….at this moment in time you have no rights at all Dr. Lightman"

She swung the chair round so that they were now facing each other.

Both allowed themselves several minutes to read the other.

Both concentrated on hiding, and allowing to show, only what they wanted at that moment.

Very slowly Gillian undid her skirt and let it fall to the floor revealing red lace panties and matching suspenders holding sheer black stockings.

With one lithe movement she straddled him and with the briefest hint of a smile she continued her work on his shirt buttons, pulling out the tucked in lower half of his shirt to complete her mission.

"So…wot does that make you then? Judge, jury and…executioner?"

"As the main and currant victim…I believe I have that right"

"Wot, no 12 upstanding members of my peers to help me?"

"Did you want an audience then Cal?"

"Depends luv"

"On?"

"My punishment"

"Torment Dr. Lightman – pure sexual torment for your sins"

"No…right of appeal then?"

"Oh appeal all you like…beg even…in fact, that might even be a part of your penance"

His jean button was flipped and his flies slowly lowered, an action he was not unhappy about considering the state of his cock.

The release on constriction was a definite plus!

"Don't do begging me – well unless someone has a gun in my face, then I can muster the odd plea"

"We'll see"

She allowed her nails to rake down his chest, applying slightly more pressure as they traversed his nipples.

Then – his intake of breath could not be covered as she reached down and grasped him.

"Errr, don't get me wrong luv, but have you had one too many….orange slushies today or sumfing?"

It was a ridiculous statement even to his ears, but he was having problems keeping up with his 'indifferent' role in this game Gill had instigated.

Her hand and nails were doing the most amazing things in his pants as he continued to struggle to stay alert and 'in character'.

"Hmmmm – Orange slushies – I DO love them don't I? It's not just the taste though"

"No?" His voice cracked –just a fraction.

"No. It's also that wonderful sensation of….Sucking it up through the straw…Because it's quite…thick…you have to suck at it quite …hard…you know"

Cal would have chocked if his mouth hadn't been so dry!

Bloody hell he had wanted this…pushed her to it but…What the hell had he unleashed!

"I err..I'll have to take your word on that….not ever having had one meself luv"

"No? Never? You don't know what you've been missing. Here…let me give you and idea…"

She began sliding down his body – off the chair and onto her knees in front of him.

"But I don't see a slushie any where arou…SHIT"

His cock burned inside her mouth, the wetness of her tongue and inner cheeks only serving as fuel for the fire.

She licked.

She sucked.

She licked again, her hand occupying the skin that her mouth didn't.

Cal groaned.

He swore.

He strained against the solidness of the metal that held his hands captive.

_**She stopped!**_

She stood.

She moved away from his aching body and his flabbergasted face.

With her blouse hovering just at the line of the gusset on her red panties she catwalked her way to his office door.

"Wot….Where?..."

"The kitchen…I have a slushie calling me from the fridge"

****

A/N...Oh Dear! Am I wicked or what? So...If you want to know the outcome of the ...'game' Yer gotta let me hear it...

**Sorry...I don't normally resort to this kind of 'blackmail' for reveiws...But I am desparate...Don't judge me or hate me...sleep deprivation does strange things to my head...**


	10. Chapter 10

**WHOOPEEEEEE...finally managed to write a chapter that could include the words cats in it...**

**LOVE you all...so sorry for delays in updating on both my stories...**

Disclaimer as norm 

**DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE CATS…**

Cal sat quietly, listening to Gill moving around in the kitchen.

As much as he never liked, in fact avoided as much as possible, games that involved him giving up control of the situation – This was Gillian's game.

On some level she obviously needed to have the upper hand for a while, so he would let her – for a while….. 

"You still here Cal?"

Her tone was light and frivolous. "I thought you would have got bored and gone by now…Oh! …I'm sorry…did I forget to unlock the handcuffs?"

As she rounded the chair he was on and stood in front of him her face was a picture of pure wickedness and innocence in a blended smile.

"Yeah, just a slight problem there luv, so if you mind"

Gill was taking a long slurp on the straw.

"Mmmmm…..Absolutely, of course…..Just give me a few minutes to finish this…."

She sat on the couch in front of him.

Cal could feel this cock, which had calmed a little while she was out of the room, start to throb painfully again as he studied her lips suctioning down on the straw again.

Gillian let her eyes drop, deliberately, to that area and then back up to his eyes.

"You seem to have a small – oops sorry, bad choice of adjectives You appear to have a ..growing problem there Cal, can I….help, at all?"

"Depends on how….helpful you want to be Dr. Foster"

"How 'helpful' do you need me to be…Dr. Lightman?"

"It would mean you having to relinquish that… oral grip on that slushie of yours"

Without breaking the eye contact Gill slowly placed the cup on the tale beside her.

"And then?"

"Well then you would need to move over here, much nearer to me"

As she started to get up she was stopped again by his voice.

"No – you don't need to get up love, in fact, that level is just about right, now you just need to move over here"

In an almost feline manner Gillian dropped down onto all fours and in that position covered the short distance between them.

Resting her arms on his thighs she bypassed the obvious and most needy part of his body reaching up instead until her mouth was hovering over his nipples.

When her tongue first touched him it was like an electric shock.

Gillian had been nursing a crushed, flavoured ice in her mouth for a while and that same, almost frozen temperature connecting with the heat of his aroused nipples was an exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure that had Cal's dick twitching in need.

"Shit Foster, your mouth is bloody freezing – it needs warmin up love and I've got just the thing to do it" 

Gillian stood up…_**SHE STOOD UP!**_

That was altogether the wrong direction ….."Gillian!" it was a deeply frustrated groan.

To his utter surprise he realised that she had moved behind him and freed his hands.

Quietly she then sat on the couch in front of him.

Rubbing his wrists he tried to study her face but her gaze was fixated on the rug on the floor.

"Gill?"

That one word held a myriad of questions.

Her face held a whimsical smile when she lifted it to his attention.

He noted embarrassment, shame, apology, all in small amounts but there nevertheless.

"Lost yer nerve luv?"

His voice was full of tenderness.

Gillian just nodded and started to lower her eyes again.

She felt his fingers under her chin before she could complete the move.

"That's quite natural luv – you picked a difficult role for a first timer, it goes against your natural behaviour which is always hard. Did a great job of it tho – Gillian – you have nuffin to be embarrassed or ashamed about darlin"

"Cal…..I…I really don't know if I can do this – if I want to do this! All this…game and role playing I…I'm sure that Zoe and Poppy and Helen were all extremely adept but…"

"Is that what you think I am all about? Gillian luv – Yeah, I admit I like it…and yes, so did Zoe and Helen – Poppy…well Poppy was just

Poppy, her whole life is one big game, an act from start to finish, but that doesn't mean my whole sex life is based on it…"

"Cal lets face it, I am never going to be …exciting enough for your tastes so…."

"My tastes! So wot exactly do you think you know about my tastes Foster?"

He slouched on the couch at the opposite end from her and stared, one of his expressive eyebrows raised.

"I know enough Cal – after 6 years of watching you, and the woman that slip in and out of your life, I KNOW! You need the thrill, the chase – and then you need the games to keep the relationship alive until you get bored with even them"

"I really had no idea you had been studying my love life so closely. So you consider yourself an expert now do you?"

There was no mistaking the sardonic drawl that had crept in to his voice – she knew it – it meant 'you are on dangerous ground and you need to back off' but she was angry too.

Admittedly it was just as much with herself as it was him, still she was prepared to take the risk and ignore the unspoken warning.

"Don't try intimidating me Cal Lightman. Sitting there with you cock still on full mast rather puts you on the back foot wouldn't you say?"

"On the contrary Foster – It's a fantastic distraction. It's always good to keep your…'subject' from fully concentrating on their replies - it's certainly working with you, you can hardly keep yer eyes off it can you?"

She flew up from her seat and grabbed a cushion throwing backwards at him as she walked away, hoping it landed somewhere near his groin.

"This is ridiculous! You and I…it could never work never. This whole mess started just because of my damn curiosity, well I don't know about cats but it's certainly killing me so it ends Cal. Right here right now"

She felt his hands on her arms twisting her sharply round to face him.

"So after all that yer just gonna walk out? Don't you fink you have some sort of responsibility here?"

As a look of confusion tinged her eyes he looked down at his still, very much engorged member and her confusion quickly changed to frustration.

"I'm _SURE_ you can…take care of that yourself Cal…Excuse me…"

She tried to sidestep but he shadowed her move. His face was deadpan as he moved again to block her.

"Cal – let me by"

He didn't even blink!

"CAL stop this now!"

This time he made the move, one step forward and he was against her, his hardness was pressing against her hips.

"Wot were you curious about Dr. Foster?"

"What it was that you had that…attracted all the women. Why they didn't seem to be able to shake you even when you had long since moved on"

"And you're prepared to just walk away without finding a conclusion now?"

"I have my conclusion Cal"

"Oh I don't fink so Foster – you can't possibly have come to a correct answer with out having sampled the full experience – taken ALL the facts into account"

"More games Cal? I thought I told you I was through with those"

"Not games Foster…I'm talking about thorough scientific research"

He leaned in harder at the hips just to make his point.

"I'm not interested Cal, I refuse to be another one of your victims despite the …'obvious' benefits that may carry" 

Cal stepped back after a long stare he turned away from her making short work of the distance between her and the door to the office.

By the time he got there he was all tucked away albeit a little tightly. 

"We have gone too far to just walk away from this now Gill. I am not what you think but for now it seems pointless trying to change your mind. This isn't over tho luv, no way"

It was only once she heard his footsteps drift off down the corridor that she started to breath again.


	11. Chapter 11

**WHOA...how's this for a quick update...Yes..you've guessed it I've been up all night again...Insomnia kicking in BIG time at the moment...**

**Yer know I really had the intention of keeping this story all light fluffy and fun...managed it for a few chapters didn't I...But the angst is creeping in again, sorry...I will try and get back to the fluffy fun...**

__

Disclaimer as norm

**ONCE MORE FOR THE TRUTH**

He lay in the post coital – very coital – quiet. 

Whilst his body rested after its exertions his mind remained active.

Sure he knew this was wrong, but for Christ's sake what did you expect?

Foster had driven half crazy ….and then walked out on him.

He had desperately needed the release that no attachment sex gave him, and besides, he had secondary motives as well. 

He let his hand drift lazily across her back and shoulders.

A lot of women over the years took this as a gesture of loving tenderness – he let them think it, but in actuality it was simply a by product of his constant need to fidget.

"Mmmm that feels so nice…I'd nearly forgotten how sweet you can be at times Cal"

"And I'd almost forgotten how manipulative you can be luv"

"EXCUSE ME?"

She sat up and glared at him getting even getting even angrier when he maintained his fixed grin.

"Yeah, as much as I know you love to go round trumpeting about how I am the manipulative one…I'm really not a patch on you when you get started am I"

"Perhaps you'd care to explain this little outburst of accusation Lightman"

"What did you say to her Helen?" 

She dropped the eye contact instantly pretending to look for the clock on the bedside cabinet. 

"What did I say to whom Cal?"

"Oh drop the bleedin act – you know damn well what and who I'm talking about – so wot did you say?"

Instinctively knowing it would be a complete waste of time trying to deny or lie about it she again held his eyes.

"The truth Cal, only the truth"

"And what …'truth' would that be?"

"To stay away from you if she wanted to avoid ending up a lonely woman"

"How did you come to that momentous conclusion Helen luv?" 

She slipped out of the bed and started pacing the room.

Cal let his gaze slide over her naked body while he waited for her reply. 

Despite the passing of 23 years her figure had changed very little and he briefly wondered how she kept it like that.

"You don't know what it's been like for me Cal….Why do you think I never married, why I'm reduced to fucking my students – I'll tell you why – because I could never get past you! Nobody else could ever live up to you"

This made him sit up.

"Scuse me but I rather think time has been playing a few tricks on your memory. It was you who broke us up – _You_, not me luv"

"I was just face saving Cal. You were getting bored with our relationship, I could see it! All I did was get in there first"

"That's just bollocks that is, I was completely under your spell, totally infatuated with you Helen…No, the truth is you wanted shot…mainly because of that bloody new Professor that had just turned up on the faculty staff"

"No, the truth is that you were just as ready to move on as I was Cal"

"Oh…so now it's 'we' is it? We were ready to move on.."

"Well it didn't exactly take you very long to hook up again did it ?"

"And it was hardly a long mourning period for you before you made your way to Professor dickheads staff rooms was it?"

"ALL RIGHT – so I made a mistake…..I wanted to come back to you….wanted to tell you that I….Anyway, like I said…you had already found my replacement"

"Hardly a replacement luv. A poor substitute yeah as most of them were, till I met up with Zoe" 

Helen stood and stared out of the window while Cal quickly dressed.

"Sounds like we both fucked up really Helen"

"Yes, I suppose we did"

"So why say that to Gillian?"

"To hurt you"

"Well at least that's honest" 

She turned and faced him. Her eyes were moist and haunted.

"So why this? What was this all about Cal, a revenge fuck? Let me know what I've been missing out on all these years?"

"I needed to know what you'd said to Foster"

"You could have just asked"

"Yeah, but you always did tend to be more open and honest after sex so…"

"So that's it then? What about if I want anymore lectures done?"

"I'll send Loker and Torres"

"I see. You love her don't you Cal – Gillian?"

"I loved you once"

"I don't think so – as you said yourself, infatuated yes, but not love, it was never love" 

He walked over and slid his arms round her, it was more of a sympathetic hug than anything else.

Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek he turned and walked to the door.

"Sorry luv" 

**XXX**

Gillian watched in silence from her hidden spot as Cal pulled his car into his drive.

She noted the ruffled hair, the slightly more than normal relaxed set of his shoulders, the small 'hooding' of his eyes.

She had seen all of these before and knew what they all added up to – the reason he had not returned home the previous night, shuffling in instead in the early hours of the morning.

She wondered whose bed he had graced.

Zoe was out of state on business, this she knew thanks to Emily – so who had he turned to in the aftermath of her rejection of him?

He hesitated for a moment with his key on the edge of the lock, almost trancelike making her wonder if he was also nursing a hangover, then he slipped inside.

Just as she was about to start the engine her cell went and she drew in a short breath as she saw the caller id. 

"A bit early for phone calls Cal"

"Well you don't sound that sleepy luv"

"No – well I…" she was desperately trying to think of a reason she should be awake this early.

"Don't bother Foster – coffees on and I've got two mugs out, you really should leave the surveillance stuff to Reynolds" 

As the line went dead she started mentally cursing him – and then herself as she got out of her car and started walking to the front door that he had left open.


	12. Chapter 12

**HIYA All...LOVED "Teachers and Pupils" Cracking episode...many thanks to Hotforteacher for taking the time to chat to me about the episodes as they air, and for always reveiwing.**

**Here's the next bit...**

_Disclaimer as norm_

**MAYBE NOT A CASANOVA**

By the time Gillian had calmed herself enough to step over the threshold Cal had been busy in the kitchen and she could smell the freshly brewing coffee.

Taking a deep breath she shrugged her coat off and sat on the settee wondering what stance she should take in the inevitable show down that was going to take place.

Cal walked thru with 2 mugs, he had managed to straighten out his hair at least she noticed, a cup was placed in front of her as he took the chair opposite.

"So wot's it gonna be then Gill, accusations, recriminations, my whole life's history of sorry mistakes dragged back up again?"

"I don't think either of us have the time for that!"

He let out a short mirthless laugh.

"I see"

"What did you expect Cal?"

"Well I didn't expect to cum home and find that my friend and business partner had been camped outside all night spying on me"

His use of 'friend and business partner' stung.

"Oh, I'm sorry – should I have described you some other way? How about _My close friend_, or _dear friend_? No, I know - my very nearly lover who won't take that final step because it's far easier to use the obvious lies of another woman to back off rather than just admit she's too bloody scared to commit – how does that sound?"

The mug and most of its contents landed on the floor when she stood up.

"Fuck you Cal Lightman"

Making for the door she tried to speed up as she heard him close behind her.

"Oh no you don't Foster – You bloody started this by sitting outside and behaving like sum mad stalker! So this time you are not just gonna flounce out like a scorned teenager"

Her arm was trapped as he grabbed it and swung her round.

"Let go of me Cal – Let go"

She tried to shake him off but he just tightened his grip and started pulling her back into the main section of the room.

"Sit DOWN Gill" she found herself almost thrown into the settee she had just vacated.

His face told her nothing but his whole body was tightly coiled.

"Would you like…another coffee?"

Feeling a little stunned and confused by the calm simplicity of his question she could do little more than nod her acceptance.

With a quick flash of his eyes to the door and then back to her, his message loud and clear in the silence, _Don't try that again_, he moved into the kitchen.

Gillian used the brief respite to gather her wits about her and prepare for the next round, nervous about which 'Cal Lightman' was going to appear.

A fresh mug was place amongst the spillage of the earlier one and he again took the chair opposite.

"I'm sorry if I grabbed you too tight, hope it doesn't bruise – trouble is ….your skin….it's so…porcelain, shoes the slightest marks doesn't it"

Gill unconsciously rubbed the spot where his fingers had dug in.

"It's fine, it doesn't hurt and if it does bruise I can always wear longer sleeves for a while"

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"Why did even listen to her Gill? We both know it was rubbish, wot she said – not even close to the truth so why?"

"I think it's closer to the truth than you realise Cal"

"Oh for fucks sake – HOW? How is it? I was prepared to commit to that relationship but she walked away- you know that Foster, I told you and you know I wasn't lying to yer. After that, I didn't get involved with anyone until I met Zoe, and I married her for Christ's sake! So how…exactly does this make me the villain that won't stick around – where do you all get this…'_Casanova_' lifestyle that I am supposed to have led?"

Gillian was suddenly lost for words and stared at her coffee intently.

"Wot – got you on that one did I? aren't you goin to resort to your normal dredge up of names to throw at me…'Poppy' 'Zoe' an whoever else you wanna throw in the mix"

"Cal…"

"Cal wot?"

"You're right of course. I have no idea what I was thinking of with my behaviour last night – it was – well I don't know exactly but it was certainly not correct and I really do apologise. I think maybe I should go home and try and work out why I did it, a little of 'physician heal thyself' is called for. It won't happen again I assure you"

She nearly go to the door…

"Don't go Gill – please"

The sincerity and sadness in his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Please come back and let's talk about this, properly, no screamin and shoutin…just talk"

"Cal I don't know. We've tried that before and…"

"Have we? We've argued about it, skirted round it, made assumptions – on both sides luv, we're both guilty of that – but have we really just talked about it?"

Gillian turned and took a few steps towards him.

"Why Cal? I mean does it really matter that much anymore? Can't we just go back to being …us…the way we have always been?"

"Don't fink so luv, I really don't fink we can just forget or ignore everything that's happened recently. Wherever we end up going from here Gill, whatever route we take..yer know..with us…it isn't gonna be backwards"

Still she hesitated on the outer edge of the room, not sure if she should just walk away or allow herself to get pulled into what might be the most important decision of her life.

"What is it that you want Cal? Where do you see us?"

"Together" he threw her a lop sided grin and it was just enough to break the statue like trance she had fallen into.

Returning the invitation with a faint 'ok' smile she slowly moved back to the settee.

"I should clean this up before it really stains anything" she motioned to the coffee spilled from earlier.

"I doubt you'll sit own and relax till you do so, go ahead. I'm just gonna have a quick wash up while yer playing. Oh and Gill…"

"Yes Cal…I promise I'll still be here when you come back"

"Oh I know that luv…I was just gonna ask you if you could finish the washing up while you're at it"


	13. Chapter 13

**Ohh thank you all for your reveiws...OK this chapter...very wordy in the conversation sense. Also, some of you might question the timing of the history, well ok, it might not match some of what the series have given us, but truthfully, I have noticed some serious flaws in their times and dates continuity...they can claim artistic license - so can I...SOME of you might think I have gone a tad over the line with Cal...a bit OOC maybe, but again, Have we ever had a chance to see him really open up? so this is my take on that. All comments and points of veiw will be accepted happily, good or bad... Now...Enjoy...**

Disclaimer as Norm 

**SINS AND BAGGAGE**

Gill felt warm strong arms slip round her as she was finishing the last of the dishes in the sink.

She knew she should probably shrug him off or tighten her body line as a sign of disapproval, but she could do neither.

"Thanks luv"

His breath floated across her cheek reminding her too strongly of how good it felt to be in his arms.

"I'll send you my bill, domestics don't come that cheap nowadays Cal"

She turned in his arms and saw the hunger in his eyes.

"Cal, please we need to talk and…"

"Yeah ..I know luv. I want nuffin more than to kiss you silly right now but yer right"

He dropped his arms and took a few steps back flashing an apologetic smile.

Almost as a small reward for his efforts Gillian reached out her arm and offered him her hand.

Taking it with a grin they walked back through to the living room. This time they sat side by side on the freshly cleaned settee. 

Gill was the first to brave it.

"Cal…despite what you may think, the truth of it is that you do seem to have a trail of broken hearts behind you" He started to rise up in protest but she used the '_Foster hand'_ on him. "It might not be your fault, maybe…I have been too quick to judge you on that, too quick to listen to the voices of the afflicted but Cal..that IS partly your fault – you know you have this reputation and you have never given me any reason to query it have you? It's only now…in this last hour that you have ever opened up to me and let me see any of your side of things…your pain"

She squeezed his hand to take the edge of the accusation.

"Yeah well …it's not something a bloke just drops into conversation really is it"

"Well maybe not in general conversation no, but this conversation – on this one yes. Tell me Cal- tell me about everything…please"

She rested her hand on his shoulder as she saw him struggling with his emotions.

**xXx**

"The first time..I fell in love….It was at home, yer know, England, …Melissa…God I fell hard for that girl and she felt the same I could have sworn…"

He fell silent.

Gill leaned in against him, snuggling in a bit hoping it would relax him enough to continue. 

"What happened?"

"I asked her to marry me. We were young – late teens – but I felt so sure. Anyway, needless to say her folks kicked off big time when she told them, threatened to have me knee capped and lock her up for the next ten years – but we were both of age so we decided we would just go ahead anyway. I had more or less stopped all the ….less than legal schemes I had been playing with Terry, but I wanted to get us a nice home to start us off right so I agreed with Tel to do one last big con. Tel was well up for it so I picked out some marks. Maybe cos my heart wasn't really in it or I was distracted by Melissa I don't know, but I was well off and the whole deal just came crashing down round us. I went to Melissa that night and told her I had to make myself scarce for a while, told her to keep her head down and just wait for me – she promised she would. Six months later when everything had calmed down I came home …..Found some of Mel's friends to ask where she was only to be told she had got engaged to some bloke that was up and coming in the city – already moved into his parent's house and was busy planning the wedding. That's when I accepted my first job with British intelligence and a posting to Northern Ireland" 

Gill was already near to tears feeling his pain along with him.

She ran her fingers thru his hair letting her hand rest on the side of his face for a time.

Cal had already moved his arm round her, now he pulled her in to him more tightly. 

"I wasn't out there long – British Intel decided that I had something worth investing in so they sent me off to Uni. Ok, I was no saint – messed around with quite a few birds for a while, but then I met Helen"

"She really hurt you didn't she?"

"Well it was certainly a blow to the Lightman ego" he gave an empty laugh.

"What do you think Foster? What would your 'shrink' side make of it ay? so to speak"

"It must have left you questioning yourself certainly"

"Too Bloody right! – So, anyway…movin on….Played around a bit more, got into micro expressions and moved away from the pure psychology that I had started with – came across Zoe, this beautiful, headstrong American. I tried bloody hard not to fall for her but I was on a loser from the start…."

"So…You finished your studies…what made you decide to come over to the states? Was it Zoe?"

"Pretty much yeah. She said if I wanted to marry her – if I loved her enough- I would follow her back to her home. Well I was..that much in love with her. I had to get British Intel to let me, but they had a branch out here so…..Soon as I could I got shot of them and moved into The Pentagon, married Zoe, had Emily and I thought I had it all sorted out – You kinda know the rest luv." 

Gillian wiped away the last of her tears and sat up slightly.

"Well that certainly helps explain a few things"

"Does it Doc – like wot?"

"Well look what happened the first time you experienced real pain and loss, you threw yourself into what was obviously a dangerous situation – Northern Ireland – you've been following the same pattern ever since"

"Right then, that's my love of danger sorted out – wot else?"

"Stop being flippant Cal, this is important – certainly to me anyway. I can see why you have commitment issues as well, and yet here you are…saying you want to try again, make a commitment to me - to us"

"Yeah, here I am again, with all my sins and all my baggage" 

Taking a deep breath Gill moved to the million dollar question.

"What I need to know – to be sure of Cal – with all the history that you have just told me, with the way you must by now associate commitment with pain and betrayal – Can you really say that what you are prepared to bring to us is 100% - because I 'm not prepared to accept anything else"

He stood up and shoved his hands deep in his pockets, he then started to pace the room.

Gillian sat quietly on the cushions, her hands folded in her lap, her eyes following his movement. 

"I've thought about that – for years now Gill" Her eye widened slightly when he said years. "I watched you go off and marry that bastard. I hoped at the time that he could give you that 100% that you wanted, that you deserved – At the time I wasn't sure that I could. I watched you trying to hold it all together, stick by him despite everything he did and I remember thinking once, why couldn't Melissa or Helen or Zoe have been like that. Then, after we had both got through our divorces I still hesitated – but I finally worked out that even without a ring on your finger you have stuck by me through everything. From the best of setting up our business and watching it grow, to the worst of me being a complete wanker - you have never walked off and left me…..So yes…yes I can believe in you, trust you enough to give that 100%. So now it's all up to you luv."


	14. Chapter 14

__

_**Hi, Sorry it's been a while...This will be the penultimate chapter I think...let me know if you enjoy it...**_

Disclaimer as Norm

_**SECRET FANTASYS**_

"There are so many things about you that I'm sure I still don't know"

His face told her she was right.

"Am I ever going to find out – I mean everything?"

"Maybe – I'd love to spend years with you tryin tho"

"Years! Is there that much I don't know?"

"Maybe. Maybe if you find out everything to soon I'll just make stuff up"

"And just maybe" she crawled over him. "You might need to put aside some of that time for any little secrets that I have that YOU don't know about"

"Oh yeah" his hands started wandering up and down her thighs. "Wanna give me a clue?"

His hazel eyes were now sparkling with mischief.

Gillian put her lips to his ear and whispered.

His pupils widened as he listened.

"You have got to be winding me up"

She looked at him, raised an eyebrow and let a small smile hover on her mouth and in her eyes.

His own eyebrows shot up as he studied her face.

"Blimey! Well Dr. Foster I would never have guessed."

Gill giggled at the faked shock on his face.

"Look luv, I think I know the answer from your face and body language …and wot you just told me…but I wanna get this right. Does this mean we're on? You an me, all proper and out in he open?"

"I don't think I would have told you….what I just told you, unless I was prepared to take you on – Full time"

"Yeah…about what you just told me…"

Gillian was still straddling him so he pulled her down until his mouth could access hers.

As their tongues twisted and turned so did their bodies, Gill on top first then Cal as they rolled and turned in each others arms.

Cal surfaced from somewhere in Gill's cleavage.

"We should take this somewhere else" he was breathing heavily and already half disrobed.

"I'm quite happy where I am actually"

"Oh really!" he got up and looked at her

"Yes, really – I think I'll stay right here, but don't let me stop you if you want to go somewhere else, I can always catch a movie on TV"

To prove her point she started hunting or the remote.

"I don't think so darlin, I have a little story to test out"

Cal pulled her up from the cushions and walking backwards towards his bedroom he held on to both her arms as Gill tried to dig he heels into the carpet.

"You can't possibly try that now" she was half laughing as she continued to be dragged along.

"Why not?"

"Well…because…"

"That's not an answer Foster"

They were now at the entrance and Cal back kicked the door open.

"Cal! what about the…"

"I have some…right in here"

Gillian was genuinely quite shocked which allowed Cal to pull her threw the door and shut it quickly.

He then pushed her up against it and started undoing the last of the buttons on her top.

"Why? Why would you just happen to.."

"Never know when they might come in handy"

She struggled, albeit feebly, as he removed all her cloths down to her red lace panties.

"Red" he grinned, "I luv red. I luv that red dress you wear, and the red skirt, and the red lipstick – and I particularly like these" he ran his hand over the front of the panties which elicited a small groan from Gillian.

Finding her voice again she almost purred, "Does that mean you are going to leave them on?"

"Don't think so, though I might keep them"

"Pervert"

"Yeah, and talking of that"

He pulled her towards the bed.

At the last second he lifted her off the floor and place her face down on the covers.

Gill tried to turn but he kept her in place by holding her wrists with one of his hands and very carefully putting his knee on her back using just enough pressure to keep her from moving.

Leaning slightly to one side he used his free hand to rummage in his bedside cabinet.

Within moments he found what he was looking for and releasing Gillian's wrists just enough he snapped on the metal cuffs.

Rolling her carefully over he placed a knee on either side of her hips.

"Who'd of thought it ai? Dr. Gillian Foster fantasises about being shagged in handcuffs"


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N…**_

So….Sorry but won't be posting for a while.

I will try and explain but I think many will not understand or agree.

I have always written with a sense of some part of Tim Roth being mixed up with Cal Lightman-wrong maybe but that's how I have the character in my head.

I have had part of that mix shattered since Twitter…Wish I never gone on to ck it out.

Anyway…Until I can reconstruct my brain to separate the reality from the fictional and establish Cal Lightman as a single, fictional entity my whole muse to create is gone.

I will still read and completely enjoy all the fantastic stories you guys post …and that …hopefully will help me re boot my thought process's.

I really am so sorry to everyone that is following my stories about this..and that a few of you will get this message in multiple because I am posting it on all current stories as I don't know who is following what.

Sorry.


End file.
